Anniversary gifts by year

The idea of giving anniversary gifts by year of marriage dates back a couple of centuries. And while traditional anniversary gifts vary from country to country, the appropriate gifts by year in the United States can be traced back to Emily Post, the guru of American etiquette.

The grand lady of good manners published a book in 1922, Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home,  in which she established eight landmark anniversaries that required traditional anniversary gifts: 

     1st  --  Paper
     2nd --  Cotton
     3rd --  Leather
     4th --  Fruit and Flowers or Linen
     5th --  Wool
     10th -- Tin, Aluminum
     25th -- Silver
     50th -- Gold

Over the years, others have expanded that list to include every single anniversary and suggest modern alternatives to the traditional anniversary gifts. But according to the pundits, you can give whatever you wish with the exception of the 25th and 50th anniversaries. Most etiquette experts believe those are still reserved for silver and gold.

If you find these rules tedious but have some spirit of tradition, you could just give whatever you wish and wrap the gift in a color that represents the designated gift for that year. Or find a big bow of the coordinating color to attach to your gift. That's simple but still shows that you care about details. 

If you're a stickler for tradition . . . 

Need an amateurish poem to help you remember how anniversaries match up with gifts? Here's a somewhat poetical guide:

Anniversary gifts by year in rhyme

The first year it’s paper Year three gets you leather By four years, it’s linen No matter the weather.   After five years, it’s wood A decade yields tin It’s durable and sturdy Like the marriage you’re in.   The 15th is crystal The 17th a watch At 20 years, it’s china Time to raise gifts a notch.   The 25th is silver …an object that’s pricey And says that your marriage Should no longer be dicey.   After 30 years it’s pearls Five more gets you jade You can wear with your finery Or have it displayed.   After 40 years a ruby Is the gift that’s suggested But the 41st is land If your spouse has invested.   A half century of marriage Calls for gifts of pure gold To celebrate a bond That will never grow cold. The years after 50 Make a statement to all That you've shared many blessings Throughout the long haul.                                            -- PPM

Some thoughts about traditional anniversary gifts

If you want to some more specific ideas, the chart below offers traditional and modern options. A few observations:

• The modern list suggests giving land for the 41st and improved real estate for the  42nd anniversary but designates books for the 47th. (How's that for elevating the power of the written word?)
• The proper gift for the 46th anniversary is an original poetry tribute. (Remember SpecialSpeeches.com if you need help with that one.
• Diamonds are the standard gift for anything after the couple reaches their 60th anniversary. The 100th anniversary calls for a 10-carat diamond. If a woman remains married to the same man for a century, she certainly deserves a ring too big to wear.
  

The Wedding Anniversary Gift Chart

The list below was compiled from a variety of sources including jeweler professional groups and party planning/gift sites.

If you don't like shopping . . . a thoughtful alternative

An alternative tradition that is gaining popularity is to honor the couple in some way that improves the lives of others. If the couple has a favorite charity, why not make a donation in honor of their anniversary? That's easy, saves you time, and makes a meaningful statement about giving back as a tribute to a lasting marriage.

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50th Anniversary Speech